Helpful hints and Common Myths
 

As a "really good" professional  Brisbane Marriage Celebrant, I am often asked about hints, tips and ideas for planning a successful celebration.

Here are a few helpful hints and ideas that I hope will help you to make your ceremony, simply the best!

Most Important

Choose the people and services for your ceremony very carefully.  The success of the occasion depends on
how well people understand each other and how respectful they are of each other's wishes.

Communicate at all stages of the process - planning, arriving at the venue, entrances, where people are required
to stand, what they do during the ceremony and what happens at the close of the ceremony.  Don't fall into the trap of "Oh I though you knew that..." or "Why wasn't I told..." or "I didn't know you wanted me to do that..."  Keep everyone in the communication loop, including your guests.

A really good marriage celebrant can work with other service providers, eg photographers, event planners, directors and venue staff, and make your guests feel comfortable to help to make the occasion a success.
Your celebrant has a big responsibility - he/she is in charge of the ceremony!

Sometimes words are just not enough to communicate the full meaning of your thoughts, hopes and values and emotions.  The use of symbols of meaning can be used to highlight the important messages.  The following are some ways in which symbols may be used in rituals in a range of ceremonies.

Delightful Rituals

 The symbol of the flame is often used in ceremonies that mark new beginnings.  The Candle ritual in a Wedding ceremony uses the symbol of the flame to express the meaning of new beginnings - the forming of a new family.

 The lighted candle may also symbolise hope for the future, or to acknowledge individuals/groups of people who are unable to attend the ceremony.

  
The symbol of the grain of sand may be used in a similar way to that of the flame.  The Sands ritual uses the symbol of the grain of sand to express the many and varied gifts and contributions that people make to our lives. 

In a Wedding ceremony, the blending of sands may symbolise the blending of two lives in marriage.
In a Naming ceremony, parents (and other family members) may blend their different coloured sands to create a unique pattern for the named child. 

The symbol of love, commitment and sharing may be expressed in a beautiful and simple Hands ritual.  This is a simple and beautiful ritual that may include words to express the contributions that two people bring to their relationship.

A handfasting is a very special ritual that may be included in Wedding and Engagement ceremonies.  There are many versions of handfasting and it is a delightful ritual that may involve other people who are important in the relationship such as childen who are part of a blended family.

Common Myths about Marriage

  Get the right information 

There are many stories about getting married!  You may be surprised by some of the more common myths about getting married in Australia, and especially when the ceremony is conducted by a civil marriage celebrant!  As a Brisbane Marriage Celebrant, I have come across many marriage myths, sone of which are:

“We need to be Australian Citizens to marry in Australia”

Not true!  A couple may marry in Australia providing the Bride and Groom are over the age of 18 years and not in a prohibited relationship, eg already married.

“We need to be in Australia a certain time before we can marry”

Not true!  There is no residency requirement prior to marriage in Australia.

“We can have a second marriage ceremony in Australia after being legally married in another country”

Not true!  The couple would be able to have a renewal of vows, affirmation or commitment ceremony that has no legal requirements.

“We can only be married either in a religious ceremony or married at the Registry”

Not true!  An Authorised Registered Civil Marriage Celebrant is permitted to perform a wedding ceremony anywhere in Australia and on any day and at any time that is mutually convenient.

“We have to say words such as, I promise to love, honour and obey”

Not true!  In a civil marriage ceremony, the only words that are required by law to be said by both parties to the marriage are:

“I, (name of Bride/Groom) call upon all persons here present to witness that I take you, (name of Bride/Groom) to be my lawful wedded wife/husband.”

Some minor variations to this wording are permitted as follows:  "call upon" to "ask"; "persons" to "people"; "thee" to "you"; "husband" or "wife" to "spouse".

"Our full names must be used in all parts of the ceremony"

Not true!  Couples may choose to use their given names when making their lawful vows, (eg for a person whose name is 'Marion Margaret Rose Wickham', the given names are 'Mary Margaret Rose'.

The surname or family name is 'Wickham' and does not need to be included).  A nickname may even be added, eg 'Marion Margaret Rose (Bunny).'

Where the surname or family name is not included in the marriage vows, it must be included elsewhere in the ceremony, preferably early in the ceremony for the purpose of legal identification of the individuals making the contract of marriage.

"We have to have wedding rings"

Not true!  Couples may choose whether or not they want to give or exchange rings.  The giving or exchanging of any object is not required under The Marriage Act.

"The Bride must be given away"

Not true!  A Bride may choose whether or not she wishes to be 'given away, accompanied or presented' at the ceremony.  Neither a Bride nor a Bridegroom is required to be 'given way, accompanied or presented' under The Marriage Act.

"We have to get a marriage licence"

Not true!  There are no requirements for a licence to marry in Australia.

"We have to have blood tests"

Not true!  There are no requirements for blood tests to marry in Australia.

Common Myths about other Ceremonies

There are also many stories about what other ceremonies may be performed and who can perform them!  You may be surprised by some of the more common myths about other civil ceremonies in Australia!

“Christenings and Namings are the same”

Not true!  A 'Christening' ceremony is conducted by a minister of the Christian faith.  The ceremony includes the naming of the person being christened.  A 'Naming' ceremony as such, may be performed by anyone!  There are no legislative requirements regarding how the ceremony must be conducted and there is no legal status attached to the naming ceremony.

“Only Registered Marriage Celebrants can perform a Naming Ceremony”

Not true!  Anyone can perform a naming ceremony!  There are no legislative requirements regarding who can perform the ceremony, when or where the ceremony must be performed or what the ceremony must include as there is no legal status attached to the ceremony.

“Only Registered Funeral Celebrants can perform a Funeral Ceremony”

Not true!  Anyone can perform a funeral ceremony!  There are no legislative requirements regarding who can perform the ceremony, when or where the ceremony must be performed or what the ceremony must include as there is no legal status attached to the ceremony.  There are, however, strict legislative requirements that must be met when a person passes away and the handling of the remains of the deceased person.

There are national industry training standards for the conducting of funeral ceremonies.  It is worthwhile to check that your chosen celebrant has attained the competencies specific to the conducting of funeral ceremonies.

Please contact Glenda Ashleigh, your Brisbane Marriage Celebrant:

  Email me with your enquiry – I read my emails every day and will respond!  glenda@glendaashleigh.com.au

  Call me to tell me about your ideas for your ceremony obligation-free! – I am a good listener!  07 3393 5616 / 0411 416 990